Purpose & Preservation

When God created me, he placed a plethora of gifts inside of me and I desired to tap into each one. I’ve always felt like there was so much brewing on the inside of me and if I only chose a portion to utilize then I wouldn’t be living to my full potential. Although, I can verbalize this now as an adult, as a child I didn’t know how to say this in a way where my words would effectively illustrate the portrait of who I was on the inside. So, growing up I constantly heard the words “misguided”, “all over the place” and “indecisive”.  After hearing them so many times, I began to believe that there was indeed something wrong with me and I needed to find one thing and stick with it like I saw everyone else do. My attempts at finding one thing to stick at for the rest of my life ended up in me finding one thing after another thing, after I would realize that the thing I found did not fulfill me like I expected. I felt so trapped inside of other’s expectations for my life and I wanted to be free.

I recall gaining my freedom one day in church when my pastor began to preach on the story of the talents in the Book of Matthew. The story involves the master giving his servants bags of gold. He gave one servant five talents, another one two talents, and the other one he gave one talent.  The servant with five talents utilized the talents and gained five additional talents and the servant with two talents gained two additional talents. But the servant with the one talent preserved the talent and the master was not pleased. Although, I know that “talents” in the Bible means bags of gold, when I heard this sermon I was very young, so I was fixated on the American definition of talents, which is a gift or a natural ability to do something. That sermon was God’s approval on my desires to use all of the gifts that He had given me and ever since that day I began to unapologetically walk in many directions at the same time. I’m a writer, a business owner, a marketing professional, and a chef…all at the same time. God has shown me that he is pleased and I feel extremely fulfilled. God’s desire is for me to use all of the gifts that he placed inside of me and to bring Him a return on his investment or He will be displeased like he was with the servant that preserved his talents. Don’t preserve what God has placed inside of you and return to heaven with the same talents that he sent you to earth with. When God created us, he distributed uniquely tailored gifts to each one of us. No matter how many or how few gifts you have, to preserve even one of them to quiet the opinions of others and fit in with everyone else will result in a half-purposed life. Your purpose is imprisoned by your preservation. It’s time to break free!

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered
B. Janai


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