Love Lessons Learned 

I’ve been taught that when a man makes plans with me, to never get dressed before his car is outside because he may cancel at the last minute. I’ve been taught that when a man says he is never leaving, to open the door because they always say that before they grab their shoes and moonwalk like Michael or vanish into thin air like Casper. I’ve been taught that when a man tells me how special I am, to prepare to be treated the opposite. I’ve been taught that when a man tells me he loves me to plug my ears with cotton balls so that I don’t allow his words to flow into my heart because he’ll soon break it. I’ve been taught WRONG.

If you’re not careful the people you date will become your teacher. They will teach you what to expect and what not to expect in a relationship. They will teach you your value. They will teach you your worth. They will teach you all of these things, while you’re a student being taught a subject that you are qualified enough to teach…the subject of YOU. In an analysis of my past relationships, I realized that was the mistake I made. The reason I kept meeting the same type of men and kept experiencing the same relationships is because I had subconsciously swapped roles and no relationship was going to prosper until I reclaimed my proper title.

I used to be extremely passive when in relationships, but on the contrary I’ve always been aggressive when it came to my career. In relationships, I never asked for what I wanted. I never spoke up when I didn’t like something. It was like after a long day at work, I just wanted to get in the passenger seat of my love life and allow someone else to take control. But my relationship teachers did teach me one very important lesson. They taught me that when you get into the passenger’s seat and allow someone else to drive your life, they will end up running over you. So, I would like to take this moment and thank all of my past teachers. I wouldn’t be where I am without you. Throughout all of the bad, I found a lot of good. I found my voice and I will no longer allow someone to teach me the logistics of me. I’ve reclaimed my proper title, I’ve stepped into my classroom, and the first day of school goes a little like this:

Welcome to my class, I am your teacher, Miss B. Janai, and I will be teaching a class entitled “The Logistics of Me”. There will be lessons and I need you to listen attentively as I teach you my worth. Listen attentively as I teach you my value. Listen attentively as I teach you how I expect to be treated. It is highly recommended that you study hard because if you do not treat me in the ways of which I have taught, then you will not pass my class. If this sounds too complicated for you, then I suggest you seek another classroom with a teacher that is willing to switch roles and be your student. If there are no further questions, then let’s begin. Pencils up. Books out. Class is in session!

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered
    B. Janai


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