Trust Iss(you)es

Nowadays a lot of people carry “trust issues” in their heart because of the past, but it is impossible to live life without trusting anyone. You trust that the gas from the station is real gas and that the pump actually filled your tank with the number of gallons that you paid for. You trust that the construction workers that built the highway you are driving on built it strong enough to not collapse. If the only way to get through day-to-day life is by trusting someone, then you can’t expect to get through a relationship without trusting the one that you are with.

There lies the question…how? How do you trust someone new with your heart after someone else has hurt you? While some may say to make them earn it, I learned that at the core of one’s inability to trust someone else is their inability to trust themselves. Therefore, in actuality it is impossible for someone else to earn what you can only give yourself…which is trust.

After someone breaks your trust, you subconsciously lose trust in yourself. You begin to question everybody that you may develop feelings for and you walk out of relationships just as guarded as you entered them. Also, you no longer trust your decision-making in men or women after the last time you chose wrong, but you can’t continue to let your past self-sabotage your future.

You have to learn how to trust yourself again, and the only way to do that is to…

  • Take responsibility for the role you had in your past hurt by admitting that you made certain decisions that got you there.
  • Take inventory of where you were emotionally, physically, and mentally when you entered that relationship.
  • Empathize with your past-self because you made the best decision that you could’ve at that place in your life and forgive yourself for any pain you caused.
  • Realize that you are in a better place now and that the situation taught you valuable lessons that won’t land you back in that situation.

I challenge you before the year ends to write a letter to your past-self including those four steps and let it go before the clock strikes midnight. Step into 2018 leaving your past behind and walking forward ready to experience the revolutionary loving and trusting relationship that you’ve waited your whole life for.

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered
    B. Janai


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