Before there were reality shows about basketball and football wives, there was The Game. Although, it was a scripted television show it taught me more than the reality shows did about relationships and navigating through them.
1) Don’t Sacrifice Your Dreams
I learned to never sacrifice my dreams for a relationship because that doesn’t guarantee that the relationship will last. Melanie sacrificed her dreams of going to John Hopkins Medical School to move to San Diego and support Derwin. After finding out that Derwin cheated on her with Drew Sidora, Melanie ended up breaking up with him. So, in essence she sacrificed her dreams to move across the country to be cheated on.
2) Be Self-Sufficient
Melanie was completely dependent upon Derwin financially so when they broke up her world crashed before she could pick it up. Then she found herself working as a waitress at a diner and sleeping on the couches of her friends. That taught me the importance of being self-sufficient so that even if the rug gets pulled from underneath you, you’ll still have something to stand on.
3) Don’t Push People Away
Tasha Mack found herself starting to fall head over heels for Rick Fox and it caused her to become hypersensitive about being hurt. She started to talk to Rick disrespectfully and even went so far as to spy on him when he was at a restaurant waiting on Malik. Later that night, Tasha confronted Rick with the allegations that he was cheating but then felt a tad bit salty when she found out he was there to tell Malik that he loved his mother. Tasha pushed him away multiple times, but then was hurt when he stood up for himself and walked out. When you push people away you can’t be shocked when they leave.
4) Beware of the Ex
Janay got with Derwin while he was still very much so in love with his ex, Melanie. While Janay was at the Super Bowl, Derwin was at home alone and injured. That same weekend he kissed Melanie and realized that he had not gotten over her. Then, Janay ended up pregnant and alone once Derwin decided to get back with Melanie. That taught me to really pay attention to whether a man is still in love with his ex before getting too deep with him.
5) A Nice Guy Doesn’t Equal A Good Man
Derwin is truly a nice guy. He’s pleasant to everyone he meets, very religious, and seems to be faithful to Melanie. After a few seasons, he cheated on Melanie, had a baby with Janay, cheated with Melanie, and then left Janay for Melanie. Derwin is not a good man for what he did, because he lied, cheated, and expected these women to stick by his side while he treated them any type of way. Clearly, just because a guy is a “nice guy” that does not mean he is a good man.
6) Don’t Judge Every Malik By Its Cover
On the surface, Malik seems like the typical player. He’s superficial, womanizing, irresponsible, and scared of commitment. That leads people to quickly make the assumption that he’s a terrible person, but you can’t take people at face value. As Malik’s character develops we learn that underneath the one night stands and gold chains is a young man that is caring, gentle, and wants to be loved more than anything. Everybody knows a guy like Malik, but you have to look a little deeper to see who they actually are. Don’t judge every Malik by its cover.
7) Don’t Keep Secrets In Relationships
Keira and Blue were starting to get to know each other and develop feelings for each other. One day while they were hanging out they got really intimate and Keira gave Blue her virginity without telling him. Then, once Blue found out that she was a virgin from Malik he was beyond hurt and angry. Keeping secrets in relationships will only result in more headaches than not, especially monumental secrets. By not telling Blue about her virginity, it kind of robbed him from being there for her and it robbed her from a more intimate first experience. That is why it is important to be forthcoming about where you are and who you are so that these problems won’t occur.
8) Issues From Childhood Don’t Magically Disappear
Malik grew up without his father and as a result of not having a male figure in his life, he rebelled in various ways. He was an athlete who felt that cars, jewelry, and numerous women made him a man. Malik had so many insecurities and issues from not growing up with a father, which impacted the life he led as a man. That is because when you do not deal with childhood issues, they won’t magically go away as you get older. You have to confront them head on so that you can move on.
9) Money Shouldn’t Be More Important
Money is great and wonderful and it can buy you nice things, but what it can’t buy you is love. Jason and Kelly had a great relationship, but the main issue was his extremely limited spending habits. He valued money over everything, even his relationship. So, when they did finally get divorced although he still had his money, he was unhappy. Money should not be more important than your relationship. You can work a few extra hours at work and make the money back, you can sell some things on ebay and fill up your wallet. On the flip side, there is not enough hours at work or items on ebay to restore your relationship once it’s damaged.
10) Don’t Have A Type
When Jason and Chardonnay ended up getting married after a drunk night in Mexico, he was so mad at himself. He had married this ghetto woman that was not his typical type and they both wanted an annulment. While waiting on the annulment process, they ended up falling for each other in a way they could have never imagined. Jason fell so hard for her that he bought Chardonnay the business she had always dreamed of and proposed to her with a big diamond ring. That just goes to show you that sometimes the person that is not your typical type will be the person you end up falling in love with. Having a type can limit your relationships, so let the “type” go and just let love flow.