In today’s society, everybody feels that they must always have a phone. Whether it’s to the bathroom or to the club, everybody feels that they must have their phone in their hand. The need to feel connected to the phone, text messages, social media, and the internet has had a negative effect on dates. Instead of getting to intimately know each other through conversation, people are going on dates and messing up the mood with the sound of their ringtone. That is why I am challenging everyone to take part in what I call “disconnected dating.”
Rule #1: No Researching Allowed
The moments leading up to a date is when most people research the person they are going on a date with. They Google, Facebook, and Twitter search their date to see what kind of person they are. When you research your date, you end up painting a picture about them before you even know if you’re using the right paintbrush. Disconnected dating is about disconnecting from everything, including the internet. Getting to know your date face-to-face is so much more intimate (and accurate), so no researching is allowed.
Rule #2: Leave Your Phone At Home
Bringing your phone on a date is destructive for multiple reasons. The first thing that it does is give you an easy out. The moment one thing goes wrong you are texting your friend and telling her to pick you up. The date could have made a complete 180 in the right direction if you would have stayed connected to the date. Another reason bringing your phone on a date is destructive is because it ruins the dating experience. Instead of gazing into the eyes of your date, you’re gazing at your Twitter timeline. Instead of intimately holding hands across the table, you’re intimately grasping your phone. The phone can ruin the whole date because it can leave your date feeling neglected even if that wasn’t your intentions. Disconnected dating requires you to disconnect from your phone and connect to the person you’re with.
Rule #3: Limiting Phone Calls and Text Messages
The way you lay the foundation for a house will dictate how the house will be built. That means that if you lay the foundation for communication in a way that is dependent on connecting through technology then the relationship will continue that pattern. Disconnect from technology and build the relationship through going on dates and hanging out. Even Netflix & Chill is more personal than a text or phone call. I’m not saying that you should never call or text the person, but what I am saying is that you should disconnect from it as much as possible.
These are the three rules of disconnected dating and it is easier to do it than it may seem. It’s not hard not to research your date, to leave your phone at home, and to limit phone calls and text messages. If you follow these three rules, disconnected dating will lead you to a connected relationship.