Relationships are hard work and it is not always easy to make one stand the tests of time. It is important to have patience and trust in a partnership, but there are also three major secrets that are just as critical.
1: Understand Their Love Language
The Five Love Languages is a popular book that has been the root of success for many relationships. According to the book, the love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. There is a high possibility that you and your partner won’t have the same love language. A lot of frustrations in relationships occur because of the simple fact that people only know how to express love in the language that they receive it.
Let’s say that your love language is words of affirmation. If that is the only love language you know, then you will get into relationships expressing it that way and become frustrated when your partner leaves because they don’t feel loved. So, now you’re wracking your brain trying to figure out how could they possibly not feel loved when you were expressing so much love. Most likely, that is because their love language may have been something different like receiving gifts. That means that while you were saying all of these affirming things, you should have been buying bracelets and suit ties.
You can’t express love in a language that is foreign to your partner and be shocked when they don’t receive it. Once you have that information, now you can speak love to them in a language that translates to them, which will make for a stronger relationship and lessen the miscommunication.
Click HERE to find out what your love language is.
2: Stay Creative and Keep Dating
At the beginning of the dating phase, couples tend to be creative with date ideas and doing things that make the relationship fun. Once your partner becomes a normal part of your daily routine, then people tend to diminish all creativity and just settle for Netflix and popcorn while cuddling on a Saturday night. In order to keep a relationship strong, you must continue to stay creative and keep going on dates outside of the house. By partaking in unusual activities, you get to know your partner on a different level and it builds a stronger bond between two people.
3: Attack the Problem, Not the Person
Arguments are a normal part of relationships because two people with two different views of the world are not going to agree on everything. As a result of arguments being a normal aspect, you must seek to argue in a manner that is progressive to solving the problem. A lot of the times when couples argue, they will begin to attack the person instead of the problem, which is a mistake.
For example, let’s say you and your partner are disagreeing on whether or not it is considered abandonment when they leave you in the bedroom alone to go watch ESPN in the living room. Don’t begin attacking your partner by bringing up old things and throwing out words that you know will hurt them just because you are feeling abandoned. All that does is make your partner withdraw from you because they view you as their attacker and no longer as a true partner.
That only made the problem worse and you are even further from reaching a resolution because you tore your partner down in the process. In this disagreement, the right thing to do is to stay focused on the true problem at hand…which is abandonment. Attack the issue of abandonment and create a plan that you both compromise on so that this one disagreement won’t damage the relationship.
If you and your partner often argue without ever resolving it, you may want to give yourselves time to build a healthier relationship before occupying the same place.