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Attachment Issues in Relationships

Do you have attachment issues? If you don’t have attachment issues, then I can guarantee that you have dated or been in a relationship with someone that did. Although attachment issues are created during childhood, they manifest themselves within your relationships.

Matter of fact, the attachment theory was created by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth who discovered through research that the type of emotional bond a child formed with their parents is carried into adulthood relationships as their style of attachment. Your attachment style heavily impacts your love life in so many ways, including:

  1. How and who you choose to date/marry
  2. The level of vulnerability and intimacy within a relationship
  3. Your willingness to compromise within a relationship
  4. Your behaviors and reactions within a relationship
  5. How your relationships progress
  6. What causes your relationships to end
  7. The relationship cycles you find yourself in

There are four main attachment styles and many people don’t know their style. Learn your attachment by clicking here to take the quiz and read the descriptions below to gain a deeper insight into your emotional strengths and weaknesses.

Attachment Style Descriptions

Secure Attachment: All of your emotional needs were met in your childhood, which can be seen in the way that you attach healthily in relationships. You are very secure within your relationships and find ease in expressing your feelings. You enjoy the intimacy that close relationships bring and you have high regard for yourself and others.

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: All of your emotional needs were not met during childhood, which can be seen in the way that you avoid the intimacy of relationships at all costs. While others may think you are just very focused on yourself or your career, the underlying truth is that you prefer to isolate yourself so that you won’t get close to anyone. When you do get into relationships, you tend to come off as distant and uncaring and when you feel yourself getting too close, you will detach yourself and come off as emotionless.

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment: All of your emotional needs were not met during childhood and you experienced significant abandonment, which can be seen by the way you attach insecurely in relationships. As a result of your fear of being rejected or abandoned again, you need constant reassurance from your partner. When you do not feel secure within the relationship, you may become clingy, jealous, and possessive until you gain reassurance. In attempts to keep your partner close, you actually are pushing them away with your tactics.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: All of your emotional needs were not met during childhood, which can be seen in the way that you find it impossible to keep your emotions from being too attached or too distant from someone. You are constantly fighting the battle of wanting to experience intimate and close relationships, but simultaneously being scared that you will end up being hurt and rejected if you let someone get too close. Your emotions are constantly up and down, and as a result of that, you tend to attract relationships that take you on an emotional roller-coaster.

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