How to Not Lose Yourself in a New Relationship

It is an amazing feeling to be in a new relationship. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining and your heart is beating full of happiness.

Although being in a new relationship feels great, it’s not a great feeling when you wake up 6-12 months later and realize that you’ve lost yourself. You no longer practice self-care at the level you once did. You no longer do the things that feed your spirit, because you’ve been too focused on feeding their spirit. You wake up and realize that you’ve neglected yourself.

In order to prevent ending up in that cycle, ask yourself these questions and write the answers to them so that you can keep yourself accountable to uphold the words you’ve written!

1. How will I prevent myself from “over giving” in this relationship?

While giving is a great relationship trait, over-giving is a detrimental characteristic. It’s the first step on a path to lose yourself. Over-giving means that you are putting in more than what the other person is giving out. I want you to pay attention to the “give-and-take” in your relationships. If you don’t, you’ll find yourself drained and empty because you’ve given everything to them and you have nothing left for yourself.

2. How will I honor my own needs and wants in this relationship instead of depending on my partner to honor them?

While your partner should definitely honor your wants and needs, you shouldn’t use that as an excuse to not honor them yourself. You are responsible for making sure that your body, mind, heart and soul get the energy and attention that it needs.

3. What daily practices will I perform that pour into myself?

You should do at least one thing for yourself everyday. That’s the minimum. It doesn’t have to be extremely time-consuming. It can be as simple as a “30-minute workout” or “Skincare routine and bubble bath.” Just make sure you do something that feeds your spirit each day.

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